My Senior Is Pulling Away From Me: 5 Ways You Can Help!

My Senior Is Pulling Away From Me: 5 Ways You Can Help!

My senior is pulling away from me…

Is your senior pulling away from you this year? I hear this from so many moms, and I feel ya! Every year it happens. I’ve had this happen to me two times already and I’m dreading my senior pulling away from me when it happens the third time😭

Some, if not most of this process is natural. But, you may be contributing to the speed at which this is happening. Here are some ways to be aware and make sure that you can preserve your last few precious moments with you senior.

Pulling away from us can take a lot of forms and it is really sad and it is awful and it is natural.

My senior is pulling away from me

During this year your seniors are going to be pulling away from you. It can be it can be bad attitude. It can be the fact that they just don’t want to talk to us. it can be them being not nice to us and to their siblings. *This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. My full disclosure policy is here.

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My senior is pulling away from me!

 

What can I do when my senior is pulling away?

Don’t feel like if your teen is doing any of these things that they’re the only one. because i can assure you that they’re not. What can we do? Be sure to read the tips below after you watch the video all about when your senior pulls away from you. 

Have you read my post about all the “things” when your teen turns 18?

Let them know that things will change, prepare them!

This is so important, and yet we forget to give our teens a heads up about how traumatic senior year can be. We get caught up in all the fun and exciting things, that we forget all the angst.

There are so many decisions that our teens need to make. College? If college, then where? What is needed for all the applications? Is there enough money? What will they need to know? Do they know enough? Are they smart enough for college? Are their grades good enough to even get in? Will they even like it once they are there? I am exhausted just thinking about all of these worries, and this is just if college is in the works!

Not college? If not college, then what? Trade school? Military? Gap year? Where will they live? What will people say? What will my parents think if I don’t want to go to college? Etc…

So… let your child know that you are there for them no matter what their decision –even if you don’t like the decision. This is HARD. Be supportive. Listen. Encourage them to make a pros/cons list to make decisions.

Don’t assume that you know what they are thinking

Seniors have to pull away from us as their parents. They’re also pulling away from friends their friendships groups might be changing they this is a big year of transition for teens. They have one million things going through their heads as I mention above. Sometimes just sitting together and not talking is okay too.,

Talk about what they are interested in

It’s not about you. Write your teen a note and ask if they need anything from you. If they want to ask any questions. If they have any concerns. Be available. Listen more than you talk. Give encouragement.

Weekly dose of parenting encouragement

Balance giving freedom and still have

This is a year that you really need to start letting them have more freedom. It will not be easy, but they are ready, and even if you are not, they need to start to have experiences that will test their problem solving skills. They need to learn to be in situations that  will provide learning.

This is a time for talking about things that they might encounter in their future at college or wherever they might end up. Help your teen to think through and talk through different scenarios. Let them know you have faith in them. Give them opportunities leading up to their departure that will build up their confidence.

Before they are gone, let them go

This means in your heart, you need to accept that they will be gone soon. This is the saddest feeling. It is so hard to do, but you need to start getting used to them being gone more and more. They will have been gradually becoming more and more independent over the years. There will be decisions that they make that you may not agree with in addition to those that will you will be proud of. It will be a wild emotional ride…

What do do when my senior is pulling away…

We need to be patient with our seniors, and it is so hard because it hurts. The feels are just non-stop! Not only is it an exciting time because of all the things…  Even during Covid, there are things that our seniors are looking forward to:  their senior picture, prom, graduation, all night party… 

So, if you have a friend who says to you, “My senior is pulling away from me,” give her the biggest hug! She needs it so badly, and I will be there with her in a couple more years😭

I would love to stay in touch!

Make sure you subscribe to my Parenting High Schoolers newsletter below for more articles about surviving and thriving with teenagers. Simply enter your information below and you will be all set! You can also like my Facebook page, and follow me on Pinterest and YouTube! I look forward to seeing you again!

Related posts: FAFSA: What Is It All About?,

What Happens To Parental Rights When Your Teen Turns 18?,

Are You Asking Yourself How Are We Going To Pay For College Next Year?,

Plan a Budget For College,  Best List of Graduation Giftts,

College Bound: Conversations to Have With Your Teen

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My senior is pulling away from me!

 

 

How To Get Ready For College: Read College Bound Now!

How To Get Ready For College: Read College Bound Now!

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How to get ready for college – have conversations with your teens.

When I was young, and I loved reading the Little House books, I thought that I would write a story about a pioneer family. It turns out that I have a lot to say about parenting teens. So, I wrote about how to get ready for college using conversations with your teens.

Have you got a teen or two in your house?  For awhile, we had three teenage boys.  Our oldest two are now in their 20s, and we have survived so far.

One thing that we have used in our parenting journey is conversation.  It has helped us to answer the question, “How to get ready for college?” Lots of talking  about lots of topics. Here’s a link to another post, 5 Ways to Improve Communication With Your Teen.

College Bound came about as a way for me to give back to other parents.  My husband and I struggled to find our way parenting our teens with no real road map in our hands.

There is no “what to expect” when your teen is 13 or 15 or 18….! We also wondered about the answers for, “How to get ready for college?”

We stumbled onto a system of having regular conversations with our teens. It has really worked for each of our boys, and they are all as different as they can be.

*This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. My full disclosure policy is here.

Grab the Conversation freebies here!  I realized since publishing my book that I left out the questions and conversation starters for the end of each conversation-ugggh!  So, here is a link to that list of questions.

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How to get ready for college|www.parentinghighschoolers.com

Did we use magic?

Many of you might scratch your head and wonder how it is that we got our teenage boys to talk. It was not magic, if that’s what you’re wondering.

We started these “talks” when the boys were younger, always around the time that their grades arrived home. This occurred about every six weeks. You too, can talk to your teens.

The beauty of this system was that it happened regularly. The boys knew that when their grades came home, we would soon be setting up a time to meet with each of them one-on-one.

(And, just so you know, our expectations were that they get all As and Bs. The occasional C was only ok if they were trying their hardest in a subject that was hard for them.)  They knew that whether or not we were pleased with their grades, a meeting would occur.

It was amazing how many times we had to tell them to do better in school-still do to this day!  It was a good and regular interval of time to have these conversations. Our teens could talk about all sorts of things that were going on in their lives at that particular time in their lives.

Keep in mind that my husband and I are not parenting experts. Far from it.  However, we have gotten one kid out of his teens and out of college. Another is finishing his associate’s degree, and our baby is a sophomore in high school.

This has been a fun, but challenging journey. I hope that some of what has worked for us will work for you!

How to prepare for college life or whatever else is to come

I broke College Bound into 14 conversations.  They range in topics from setting up a college budget, obtaining letters of recommendation, contacting colleges with questions to finding scholarships, and more.

Each chapter covers a conversation, why each is important, different things to think about, and how to talk about each topic.

There are many other conversations with your teens that need to occur, but for the sake of the book, these topics were the ones I felt were the most important when thinking about college and life prep.

 

Award for Top 10 Finalist for Advice Book|www.parentinghighschoolers.com

Will these topics matter if my child decides not to attend college?

Yes.  All of these topics matter because if your child decides to go into the military, get a job, or go to trade school a resume will always be a good thing to leave high school with.  Grades and test scores will matter.  Maybe not to the degree as getting into college, but the real world is competitive.

The better your teen looks coming out of high school compared to the next guy who is applying for the same program, the better their chances for getting that job or higher rank or whatever!

Have you grabbed my high school parent toolkit yet?  It is a blueprint for staying organized through all four high school years!  Get it here!

Isn’t this common sense?

A lot of it is common sense.  When we first started out in these teen years with our oldest, the amount of things that we did not know was overwhelming.

This book was born out of frustration with not knowing what to ask or even who to ask about parenting teens or how to get ready for college. Counselors at high schools are awesome, but totally overworked.  They are also usually trying to help those kids with no support systems in place.

It seemed like other parents had the same questions as we had. So, between my husband and I, we started researching and asking questions to anyone who looked like they might have an answer. I read books, Googled a lot of things, and we both asked parents with older teens what had worked for them.

Have lots of conversations with your teens!

We talked with our kids a lot. Note the use of “with” and not “to”. Of course, there were times that we did talk to our kids, but we really wanted to engage them in conversation.

There were times that it seemed like our conversations were going nowhere fast, but then one of the boys would make a decision that made sense. Or one of them would tell us something that gave us a glimpse into the fact that maybe we were making some sort of headway into this parenting thing.

Parenting teens is NOT for the faint of heart. It takes consistency, patience, and stamina to say the least. Remember that many, if not all, of these conversations will need to take place gradually. Start where you are.

Having conversations with teens is not for the faint of heart!

If none of these topics have been discussed before, then choose one. Talk with your spouse or significant other first to make sure you are in agreement or at least know where you each stand.

Teens are super smart and will be able to tell if you guys are not of the same mind.  They will use this to their advantage every time, so be prepared!

Do not try to talk about all of this at once!  Have discussions a little at a time, and spread them out. It would be really easy to overwhelm both you and your teen.

Weekly dose of parenting encouragement

The key is to just start.

Just because your teen might not be talking to you at this moment, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t start these conversations.  Try to find some common ground. Call a truce. Talk about starting this in the context of making plans.

Most teens are wanting to talk about the future, they are feeling lots of mixed emotions. They are scared, excited, overwhelmed, and usually have many questions if given the right situation.

These conversations with your teens are for them to start the process of preparing to leave your home. These are all topics that need to be covered in most situations.

Set some goals together. Make the time.  Remember not to lecture, but have discussions. Let your teen talk and ask questions. Try not to interrupt.

My teen thinks that they know it all…

I feel your pain. Have them do some research about the thing or things of which they are trying to convince you. This has worked for us, a lot. We had one son, who really thought he knew a lot about a lot.

He is super smart, but through his research online and asking around, he realized that maybe we knew a few things as well. This was something that we let him discover over time on his own.

We also have learned so much about parenting teens. Our teens were smarter and more responsible than we had given them credit for. Patience was something that we had to use in all of these conversations.

We learned how and when to shelf a discussion for later without everyone getting mad–not always, but most of the time. There is also the fact that our teens have so much going on in their lives, that they really appreciated these times to debrief and make plans.

Try to have some conversations with your teens!

Set up a time to have a conversation with your teen. Let them know when and why you are wanting to do this. Tell them that there will be time for them to talk about things that they want to talk about as well.

Start out short and sweet.  See what works, and what doesn’t. Each child and each conversation will be different. Take notes.  Try again soon. Grab my book, College Bound now!

You will hopefully find that your relationship with your teen will improve.  It won’t always be great, but in general, your kids will talk more in every day situations than they used to. They will have more questions.

Teens want to plan for their own future, and you will find out that it is really fun to do this! Grab my three freebies for this system here. They are:

1. Template for keeping notes from each conversation.

2. Conversation starters.

3. Tips for success when starting this plan.

Download these freebies to help talk with your teen about college

There may be more going on with your teen than you think.  Talking with them will hopefully help to bridge that gap, if there is one, between you and your teen.

If there is more going on than you can handle, here is the link to a good post about your teen and drugs. If you think that your teen may be depressed, check out this link for more information.

Share any ideas that you have that might help the rest of us!  About parenting or how to get ready for college or anything! I can’t wait to hear what works for you. Remember to get College Bound here.

Related posts:  Our 2 1/2 Rules for Raising Teens5 Ways to Improve Communication With Your Teen, 7 Things to Know If You Love a Teenager  and 6 Books You Should Read If You Are Parenting Teens!

I would love to stay in touch!

Make sure you subscribe to my Parenting High Schoolers newsletter for more articles about surviving and thriving with teenagers. Simply enter your information below and you will be all set! You can also like my Facebook page, and follow me on Pinterest and YouTube 

I look forward to seeing you again!

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How to get ready for college|www.parentinghighschoolers.com

 

Cinco de Mayo With Teens Can Be So Fun!

Cinco de Mayo With Teens Can Be So Fun!

Cinco de Mayo means fifth of May. It is important for one area of Mexico, and has become a fun American tradition to celebrate. Here is information about the holiday and many ways we can celebrate Cinco de Mayo with teens.

What is Cinco de Mayo? 

History

Originally celebrated for the anniversary of the Battle of Puebla, this holiday is celebrated in parts of Mexico and the United States in honor of a military victory in 1862 over the French forces of Napoleon III. It started in Puebla where this unlikely victory occurred, and has spread as a fun excuse to celebrate with parades, food and drinks.

The reason for the attack was Mexico was having trouble paying back war debts to European countries, and France had come to Mexico to collect that debt. France, at that time, was the largest military force, and they were looking to build up their empire, since they had just sold a huge portion of it to Thomas Jefferson in the Louisiana Purchase. Napoleon also wanted to have this base for Confederate soldiers during the Civil War-this might have resulted in a different outcome for the south had it not taken so long to win this war in Mexico. 

France lost this particular battle, but eventually won the war after a few years. For five years, this area was until French control.

Things to know

It’s actually not celebrated that much in Mexico except for in the state of Puebla. A couple of things to remember when and if celebrating this holiday are: be aware of the historical significance and don’t use Spanish vocabulary inappropriately, (ie. Cinco de drinko.)

This holiday actually has been celebrated in the US since the 1860s. It started in southern California when Mexican immigrant citizens used the holiday as a way to celebrate their heritage. *This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. My full disclosure policy is here.

Cinco de Mayo with teens!|www.parentinghighschoolers.com

Your teen can help to plan and cook 

This is a fun holiday to celebrate with teens because who doesn’t love Mexican food and drinks? And, what better way to get your teen into the kitchen than food and drink for a party! So, plan a fun party for Cinco de Mayo with teens now! 

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Cinco de Mayo with Teens|www.parentinghighschoolers.com

Here are some fun ideas for ways to celebrate this Cinco de Mayo with teens! 

Decorations and Crafts

Here are 20 easy DIY decorations for your party

More easy DIY party decoration ideas

Easy sombreros to set out for the party

Pipe cleaner cacti

Here are some fun taco shirts….

Cinco de Mayo with teens is delicious!

Recipes

Snacks/Appetizers

Nacho bar

Jalapeño poppers– my boys love these!

Mexican fruit cups

Easy cheesy bean dip

25 great Mexican appetizers

Drinks – You can always choose to add alcohol for the adults!

Margarita punch

Pink lemonade virgin margaritas

Authentic horchata -this looks interesting…

Virgin piña coladas

Main dishes

Sheet pan chili lime chicken

Easy beef empañadas 

Queso chicken -the picture alone made my mouth water!

Best carnitas!

Side dishes

Mexican street corn

Authentic Mexican rice

Loaded Mexican fries

Chipotle cauliflower rice

Desserts

Sombrero cookies-so cute!

Cinnamon sugar tortilla surprises– these look yummy!

Churro cupcakes

Praline crunch -we are trying this for sure!

Get a pinata for Cinco de Mayo with teens!

Games/Activities

Bingo

DIY piñatas

Music playlist

Minute-to-win-it games -because, it’s a party!!

I hope that you are able to put together a party celebrating Cinco de Mayo with teens and your whole family! 

And, if you can’t be with your teen for Cinco de Mayo, here are some great ideas for a Taco care package!

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Cinco de Mayo with Teens|www.parentinghighschoolers.com

Here are some other holiday posts: 49 Movies for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, 25 Movies for Valentine’s Day, Best Graduation Gift Ideas, Budget Friendly Ideas for the Holidays

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