Here are things that I’m learning and loving in the month of February! I will talk about a few things that I am learning and loving in my life right now. This may include recipes, books, movies and gadgets, etc. Here are some ideas for parents in February. I will do this sometime during each month. (Here are December and January) Let me know what you are learning and loving so that I can add that to future posts!
*This post may contain affiliate links. This means, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click the link and make a purchase.
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Learning:
The 10 best ways to “hygge”, I mention some tools for this below. Once I learned about this a few years ago, I determined that I should have been Danish😃
I learned that I can do new BIG things when I hosted an online summit, Next Phase Parenting Summit. I have made a great new friend, and we were able to help so many parents of teens, young adults, and empty nesters. I encourage you to try something new and difficult, it can be fun and really rewarding!
Loving:
Book:
The Energy Bus -Jon Gordon I had to read this at school for a book club with other teachers. It is SO good! The story is that George’s day starts out with a flat tire, and in his opinion his day goes down from there. Everything in his life is falling apart -his marriage, his job…
George ends up taking the bus to work, and meets Joy, the energetic bus driver. Joy and the other passengers on the bus give George 10 lessons for living life with positive energy which makes a huge difference in his life.
Other books by Jon Gordon that are on my list to read! One thing I like about him is that he has some children’s versions of a few! And, the fables he uses to tell all of his stories are so relatable.
Show:
Centennial -the mini-series based on the book by James Michener This was one of our favorite mini-series back in the day, and we have had such a great time watching it with our kids! The cast is amazing, which of course they do not even realize. It is super cheesy, but very engaging to connect with these generations of characters who lived and interacted with each other in the town of Centennial, CO. You should give it a try!
And, if you haven’t read anything by Michener, you should give him a try. The beginnings are always full of geological facts and data, but if you can make it through those pages, the information is always so pertinent to the story that he tells about a region.
Gadgets:
I love this tiny cutting tool! You can attach this to your keychain, have one in your car or wherever!
“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is time for home.” – Edith Sitwell
I love this quote because it perfectly sums up winter for me.❄️❤❄️
One of my favorite winter concepts is “hygge”, basically getting cozy and warm with people you love! There I nothing better! Here are some tools for hygge: this blanket looks luscious, BEST hot chocolate mix, and finally a recent book that I loved (and that I found out is part of a series!)
I hope that you have learned some things with these ideas for parents in February!
I would love to stay in touch!
Make sure you subscribe to my Parenting High Schoolers newsletter below for more articles about surviving and thriving with teenagers. Simply enter your information below and you will be all set! You can also like my Facebook page, and follow me on Pinterest and YouTube! I look forward to seeing you again!
Valentine’s Day can be such a fun time for teens. Even for teens that do not have a special “other person”, giving gifts to a bestie or other friends can be fun! Finding the best Valentine’s gifts can be a lot of fun, and there are many great activities as well that I list at the bottom for fun!
We encourage our boys to give gifts at least to us and their grandparents, even if it is just a card. These can mean a lot, especially if they are homemade!
Showing someone that you care is a life lesson, and there is no better time than Valentine’s Day to make sure that this happens!
Encourage your teens to reach out to someone or many someones with a message of friendship and/or love.
I put together the following list of Valentine’s gifts with help from my boys and my middle school students. These vary in price from just a few dollars up to a lot -most are really inexpensive items of less than $25. Our teens need to remember that it is the thought that counts more than anything.
*This post may contain affiliate links. This means, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click the link and make a purchase.
“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.” ―Eleanor Roosevelt
Photo box explosion album -My son got one of these for Christmas from his girlfriend! It is so cute! She did say that it took some time to put together.
Some fun activities for spending time together on this special day!
•Create a Valentine tree -I think these DIY twig trees are so cute! This one is cute, too.
•Write someone love notes and/or coupons -you get to choose what to offer.
•Spend one on one time with your teens -watch movies, play games, take a walk… Here’s the link to a post my friend wrote about creating a fun day with her teenage daughter!
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What I’m learning and loving in the month of January! I will talk about a few things that I am learning and loving in my life right now. This may include recipes, books, movies and gadgets, etc. So, here are some ideas for parents in January.
I will do this sometime during each month. (Here are October,November, and December) Let me know what you are learning and loving so that I can add that to future posts!
*This post may contain affiliate links. This means, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click the link and make a purchase.
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Learning:
Need some proof that teens are doing good works in this day and age? We hear al the time about problems that teens get into and bad things that they do. Here are some amazing examples of positive things!
Here is a great story about some teens that rescued some kids in the surf.
I could not put this book down! Set in the 1920s in a rural Kentucky, a young woman who married to escape her boring life in England, has found out that life in the states is possibly worse married to a young man with some issues of his own, plus an overbearing father-in-law. She answers the call to become a rider for Eleanor Roosevelt’s new traveling library. There is adventure, romance, intrigue and true friendship. Grab a copy and get started! (It is based on real events.)
Movie / Show:
I usually recommend a movie, but this time, I am going to say, go with the full series of Schitt’s Creek. We would not have survived the pandemic without this show. Whenever something especially heavy would happen, our 16 year old would say, “Let’s watch an episode!” We watched many series over the past months, but we always knew what he meant when he said this:)
Have you tried this stuff? It is amazing! I have some by my bed and by the couch downstairs. I love that it is fragrance free. And, the price! Less than $7 for 16 oz. I could not survive winter without this.
Quote:
“As you step into this new year, be bold enough and daring enough to believe in the abundant good that has been prepared for you.“—Dr. Norman Vincent Peale
I hope that you have learned some things with these ideas for parents in January!
I would love to stay in touch!
Make sure you subscribe to my Parenting High Schoolers newsletter below for more articles about surviving and thriving with teenagers. Simply enter your information below and you will be all set! You can also like my Facebook page, and follow me on Pinterest and YouTube! I look forward to seeing you again!
Valentine’s season is here, and it’s a great time to watch some movies about love. These are not all about romantic love, but love between friends and family as well. These are great movies to use as a springboard to some conversations about realistic love.
Relationships can be so complicated, and with all the social media options available these days, it’s even more important that our kids know that communication is key. Not texting, but talking. Relationships can and should be grounded in friendship first, and there is no rush to any of this!
These movies can really help open the door to difficult conversations!
After a painful breakup one of my boys experienced, we watched a few of these movies. He ended up liking some of these, even though, at first, he thought they were chick flicks. Watching these together opened up some great conversation that he later said really helped him. Here’s a checklist to keep track of the ones that you have watched:)
Here is our family’s list of the best movies about love to watch for Valentine’s Day!
*This post may contain affiliate links. This means, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click the link and make a purchase.
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Movies About Love
Valentine’s Day– This is great! This is the story of many intersecting stories about love. Mother love, romantic love, puppy love and more… Each relationship in this movie is special for different reasons, and there are lessons to be learned in each situation.
“You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not,” Jodie Picoult in My Sister’s Keeper
Sweet Home Alabama– A young woman in the big city learns that she can leave home, even recreate herself, but leaving the past behind is not as easy as she thinks.
“You always gain by giving love,” Reece Witherspoon
Ghost– Love from beyond. The spirit of a young man comes back to warn his love that she is in danger. Appearances are not always what you think!
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same,” Emily Brontë
10 Things I Hate About You– A complicated of boy meets girl, boy wants to date girl, girl not allowed to date… A fun story about love/hate between sisters, their dad, and the boys who want to date them.
“I have decided to stick to love; hate is too great a burden to bear,” Martin Luther King, Jr.
The Proposal– Love conquers all even when the girl is the office “witch” and the movie starts out with the boy hating the girl.
“When you love someone, you love the person as they are, and not as you’d like them to be,” Leo Tolstoy
Grease– Lesson learned here is peer pressure can be intense. Be who you are!
“Love was made for me and you,” Nat King Cole
Some Kind of Wonderful– Lessons about growing up, the freedom to make your own decisions
“Love is a friendship set to music,” Joseph Campbell
When Harry Met Sally– Harry wants to prove to Sally that men and women cannot be friends because sex always gets in the way. I love the evolution of their friendship throughout the movie, and ultimately sex does complicate things as he predicted. Classic!
“Love is friendship that has caught fire,” Ann Landers
Pretty in Pink– Love conquers all, friendship and the struggles across social and economic classes are a few of the themes in this classic John Hughes film. If you want to show your teen a glimpse into the ’80s, then this is my pick!
“I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly,” Kathleen, in You’ve Got Mail
While You Were Sleeping– A girl who imagines herself to be in love with the “perfect” man, finds out that love is so much more when you find the right guy.
“You don’t marry someone you can live with — you marry someone you cannot live without,” unknown
Sabrina– I liked the original Sabrina with Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart, but LOVE this remake with Julia Ormond and Harrison Ford! Girl loves boy who doesn’t have a clue she exists. Girl goes away and grows into beautiful woman. Girl comes home and then things get complicated when boy finally “sees” her.
“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other,” Audrey Hepburn
Hope Floats– Great movie about starting over after all seems lost.
“Love yourself first, and everything falls into line,” Lucille Ball
Where the Heart Is– Talk about starting over! Natalie Portman is great as a young pregnant woman who is abandoned at a small-town Walmart. Ashley Judd steals the show as the sidekick.
“Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you,” Misty Copeland
Steel Magnolias– My girlfriends have my back no matter what, and this movie goes to show that we all need our girlfriends through the situations that life can bring us.
“A good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have,” an Irish proverb
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days– This is a cute rom-com about a relationship that has every reason to fail from the start.
“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly,” Sam Keen
Fried Green Tomatoes– Another example of girl friends being there through thick and thin.
“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart,” Eleanor Roosevelt
“You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars,” E.E. Cummings
Beaches– Girlfriends again. Even when a friendship seems to end, their love for one another shines through in the end…
“There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family,” unknown
Regarding Henry– True love, true friendship, and what is important in life is what Henry and his wife discover after a horrible accident.
“The couples that are meant to be, are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart, and come out even stronger,” unknown
A Walk to Remember– Be true to yourself. I showed each of my boys this movie when they were in middle school. Peer pressure, love, family, and how to stand up for what is right are all themes in this great movie. The book is great, too!
“You know it’s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness,” Julia Roberts
The Notebook– Loyalty and lifelong love are the story here. I cry every time!
“I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
She’s All That– Another great teen flick. Their relationship starts on a dare. Pygmalion updated…
“To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you are the world,’ Dr. Suess
Clueless– Another update. This time Emma is the story, and Alicia Silverstone is hilarious as the heroine.
“She was one of those, who, having, once begun, would always be in love,” Emma, Jane Austen
I hope that one or many of these movies about love will help you to enjoy the Valentine’s season!
We love to use movies to teach a lesson in a totally “innocent” way. These movies about love and friendship can spark great conversations about all facets of life and love. Have fun, and enjoy some movies about love with your teens this Valentine’s season! Remember to download the checklist to keep track of the movies that you have watched!
I have to include one more movie for the Leap Year! This is a cute rom-com with Amy Adams.This movie’s theme is that you can’t control love!
I would love to stay in touch!
Make sure you subscribe to my Parenting High Schoolers newsletter below for more articles about surviving and thriving with teenagers. Simply enter your information below and you will be all set! You can also like my Facebook page, and follow me on Pinterest and YouTube! I look forward to seeing you again!
Middle school is a time of transition and growing. Your child leaves elementary school, and has three years to be ready for high school! How is this possible? Here are some hard-won lessons learned from getting three kids through these years for middle school success.
Both you and your teen have lots to learn. It is a challenging time, in fact, this might be the most challenging age since they were toddlers! These years can be difficult, but you can help your child start some forward thinking with some of these strategies, and you guys can survive.
Quick update: I am now teaching middle school. I can tell you that these kids are savvy! They already have ideas about what they want and don’t want. Take advantage of this time! It goes so quickly…
This post may contain affiliate links. This means, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click the link and make a purchase.
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Start the thinking process!
Begin talking about things that your child likes to do or that they are interested in or are good at. Do a Google search for schools with different majors that you think of together. Start conversations with your child when you are with other adults and talk with them about their jobs.
What types of things do these adults like, and/or dislike, about their jobs. What are the expectations at their workplaces? Do they have really long hours, or maybe just a four day week? How much did they make starting out? How much school was required?
Adults usually love it when a kid is willing to talk and have an actual conversation with them, so encourage them to ask away. Plus, it’s an added bonus to that adult that your child is asking questions and interested in them.
Think about future job possibilities.
Help your child to start looking around at different jobs that people have wherever you all are. Even when watching a show, try to notice how many jobs there are on that show. Watch the news for different stories about people’s lives and what they do during the day.
These conversations can be very interesting to say the least, it’s amazing what they know and think that they know. Remember, though, that it’s a conversation, not time to lecture!
My video goes into more detail about this here. And be sure to read on below the video for the rest of the story!
Try new things.
Middle school is the perfect time to try some new things.
Try a club if it sounds interesting. Try to stick with it for the year. Sometimes these start out a little boring because no one knows each other yet. Give it a chance. If it is just not a good fit, then try something else.
Run for an office in a club or be in charge of a particular event. This is good practice for more leadership in high school.
Try out for a sport. This is the time to do some of these things to get a taste to see if it is something that might be a good fit. Most kids at this age make the team. It’s a good time to learn about a sport, especially if your child hasn’t played it before. There are lots of beginners at this age as well as other kids who have played for years. You will see it all in middle school!
Try out an instrument for all of these same reasons.
Again, if your student doesn’t just love something, then they have tried and now they know! The great thing about middle school is that it’s practice for being in high school without the pressure of grades counting and everything being super competitive.
Take the aptitude tests seriously.
As the future gets closer, tell your student not to just blow these tests off. These tests are really a tool to help decipher personality traits, likes and dislikes, and many other factors which might help steer your child in a direction they have never even considered. Many give really good ideas if honest and thoughtful answers are provided.
Right now jobs with good employment rates are engineering, administration, many sciences, and graphic design. Many jobs are not even listed yet–BECAUSE they have not been invented yet! 85% of jobs that will exist in 2030 do not even exist today!
Middle school success does not depend on these scores, however the information that can be gained from these results if your teen takes it seriously might be really helpful!
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Have conversations.
If I could go back and do one thing differently, it would to be to have more conversations about all of this. We are trying this a lot more with our youngest son. No decision needs to be made at this point. But, just having these sort of conversations will really help with everyone’s mindset as high school is looming just ahead.
One big mistake is to wait until junior year to start all these conversations and by then your kids are so super busy and there is a lot going on in general. Give yourselves the gift of time. Here’s the link to a post with 5 tips to improve communication with your teen.
This is also a good time to start keeping track of all activities because as your child moves forward, especially by high school, a good record of all this needs to be kept from the beginning of freshman year.
Check out my parent toolkit for this and other ways to help your teen through these busy years!
Apply for scholarships.
One thing that I wish I had known with my oldest son, is that this whole process could be started in middle school. Many scholarships are available starting for students when they are 13! These are good ones to try for, because who knows this? No one that I have spoken with about this process has known.
As a parent, you need to set up a specific email just for scholarships, and so should your child–even if you are the only one checking them. Sign up for scholarship websites, and fill out the profiles. (These can be edited down the road as your child learns more about themselves and their likes and dislikes.)
These websites will start to send lots of emails about different scholarships that are available. They will be organized in many ways. Stay up with them and create a list of ones to try for. Many can and should be deleted. Don’t go crazy with this. Maybe try for one a month, more during the summer or over holidays.
Look for scholarships!
Here is a list of scholarship websites for you to look at: Chegg.com, ScholarshipOwl.com, Scholarship Points, Fastweb Scholarships, Scholarships.com, Cappex.com, Niche.com, and Scholly.com
Two AMAZING resources are:
How 2 Win Scholarships Monica Matthews is a former teacher and a stay-at-home mom of three boys. She’s a mom who worked with her son to earn enough scholarships to attend college for free. Monica has parent, as well as student guides which are extremely useful and worth the $27.00. I’ve signed up for her newsletters and she’ll let you know when to apply for scholarships. She always has up to date information on her blog.
The Scholarship System– Jocelyn Pearson. She has a free webinar you can register for here. She paid for 100% of her college expenses through scholarships. Jocelyn has definitely done her homework and creates a yearly Scholarship Guide. I liked her webinar. Very honest and tells it like it is.
Practice writing a few essays.
Good topics for essays are: goals and aspirations, how to help the environment, safe driving habits (such as no texting and driving), and where do you see yourself in 20 years. Just having these few essays in their pocket will be super helpful in the whole process because they can be tweaked and used more than once.
There will be more and more writing in high school, so this is good practice. Also, many colleges require an essay on their application, so these could be used again for that.
Set up a calendar for college related items.
This can be a dedicated calendar for scholarship due dates (pretend that they are actually due earlier than actual date, so they are never late) and also test dates like the ACT and SAT. Eventually, in high school, due dates for applications can also be added. There are many due dates, so a calendar dedicated to just college can be super helpful.
Do not try to do this all at once! Middle school lasts three years, so give yourself grace. Try one thing at a time. Get to know your child as they mature and grow into young adults. The main thing is to keep the lines of communication open with your child so that all of this planning and prep work is done together.
It’s too much for any one person.Get on the same page as your spouse, significant other, or ex– or as close as possible because it is your kid’s future that is important right now. There will be times that you don’t work on any of this because you are busy and have a life. When you can, take baby steps into this whole process, the chances of middle school success will increase. It is a really exciting and fun time for all!
Make sure you subscribe to my Parenting High Schoolers newsletter for more articles about surviving and thriving with teenagers. Simply enter your information below and you will be all set! You can also like my Facebook page, and follow me on Pinterest and YouTube! I look forward to seeing you again!
Your teen is 18! Your parental rights are basically gone.
Do you have a college freshman? Get ready for things to change in more ways than one. Your parental rights are about gone!
Did you know that you have no rights to their school information like grades, financial aid etc?
Did you know that once your kiddo turns 18, you will not be able to even make them a doctor’s appointment or call with an insurance question about your own child?!!!!! Whaaaaaaat?
What do I mean?
I found this out the hard way when I called to doctor to find out some info about one of my boys’ doctor appointments. They wouldn’t tell me anything! Keep in mind that this was our pediatrician, who I had known since the morning my oldest was born more than 20 years ago…
In addition to all of the dorm room supplies and school supplies and other miscellaneous stuff, you need to be aware of some really important terms: FERPA, HIPAA, and Selective Service to name a few.
Once your child enters college, and especially after they turn 18, your parental rights will drastically change, as in disappear. Read on to find out what these terms mean, and how you can be prepared for these changes.
*This post may contain affiliate links. This means, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you click the link and make a purchase.
(In this day of COVID-19, the medical portion of this post is very important to know about. Your child needs to let his medical providers know that he or she gives permission to you for medical treatment. In most cases, the virus has been mild for young adults. However, the doctors are saying, if a case becomes severe, it can happen very rapidly.) Please read the section below about HIPAA carefully.
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What is FERPA?
FERPA stands for Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. So, let’s say that you suspect that your child has been skipping classes, or you want to make sure that your child didn’t drop a class and scoop up that money. You cannot find out from the college unless the FERPA has been signed!
FERPA is the law that protects student educational records. It includes protections for … a child’s education records, such as, report cards, transcripts, disciplinary records, contact and family information, and class schedules. Find out what FERPA compliance means, and how you and your teen can work together with this law.
This means that at the age of 18, all rights that you have had as a parent regarding these types of information transfer to your student.
There are exceptions when a school may, but IS NOT REQUIRED to-share this information about the student’s educational records. The exceptions include situations where the student’s health or safety may be at risk, instances of drugs or alcohol if the student is under the age of 21 and/or if the student is claimed as a dependent for tax purposes.
The point being, that unless your student signs the FERPA when registering for classes or at student orientation or at any time, then you may or MAY NOT be able to see your child’s grades, see their financial records at the school or be able to help make decisions regarding their health should a situation occur on campus.
It is a simple form that carries significant weight.
The truth is that your child will not necessarily know what this is!
Unless you basically make your teen sign the FERPA, then you will be out of luck when trying to communicate with the school if you want any real answers. Look for this when your child is uploading all of their info to their college once they are accepted.
HIPAA
Here’s another example of parental loss of power… Your child has gone to the health clinic at their college. You call the clinic to find out more information from them about the diagnosis because your child cannot tell you much since they didn’t really listen. No can do. Unless your child has signed the HIPAA and put your name on it!
HIPAA is another governmental term. The Health Information and Portability Accountability Act comes into action when your teen turns 18. Up until this point, you as the parent have signed the HIPAA form at all doctors visits. This includes dental, vision, and insurance information as well as primary care.
Now, your 18 year old will sign the form and list any adults who may be given information regarding their health. If you are not on that list, then you will not be privy to any of that information. (A really good description for an 18 year old to read about what the HIPAA means is here.)
Another option to consider is a durable power of attorney. This would need to be signed by your teen once they are 18. This would be a really good thing to have in place if for some reason your child were to become incapacitated in some way.
Check out Mama Bear Legal Forms. They offer both health and financial power of attorney legal documents. We have had these drawn up for our two oldest boys while they are in college.
Selective Service
Once your son turns 18, he needs to register with the Selective Service. He will have 30 days to do so. It is a federal offense not to register. He will be unable to get a driver’s license or apply for student loans or grants. There is a hefty fine of $250,000 and up to 5 years in prison for not signing up.
Conscientious objectors and disabled persons need to register as well. If the draft ever comes back, those individuals can can register their objections or disabilities then.
At this point in time, girls do not have to sign up for this.
Legal Implications of Turning 18
Turning 18 has many implications. In most states, being 18 is considered being an adult-age of majority. Some things to consider…
As an adult, a person can buy property, vote, or even get married in most states. Jury duty is now a possibility as well.
As an adult, a person can now be put in prison if convicted of a crime, can legally gamble, and can now be sued. Not all fun and games!
One tool that young adults may want to take advantage of is life insurance. It all depends on circumstances. Some young people may be facing financial hardships or want to utilize life insurance as an investment tool. Here is a quick link to a guide explaining more about this.
One more thing that your 18 year old needs to consider. Sex. If your son or daughter is dating someone younger than them, which many of them are, then they can be charged with, and be prosecuted with statutory rape. This varies from state to state, and the description of what that means also varies from state to state. Also, sexting as an adult is a crime. It is distribution of pornography. Please make them aware of this!
This is a lot!
All of it is important! Be sure that you and your teen have discussions about all of this over time. These are big topics, so don’t try to discuss it all at once. Your role as a parent will definitely change, and that’s a good thing! Just know that as you lose your parental rights, they are gaining their rights as adults, and that’s a good thing too!
I feel your pain, but hope that this information helps you along this crazy journey as our kids become adults!
Make sure you subscribe to my Parenting High Schoolers newsletter below for more articles about surviving and thriving with teenagers. Simply enter your information below and you will be all set! You can also like my Facebook page, and follow me on Pinterest and YouTube! I look forward to seeing you again!
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